Tuesday, June 4, 2013

The Mommy Secret Revisited

I often look back to the days of bringing my first born home, staying up all night, cluster feedings, and bouncing my baby up down to calm her crying. Most days I want to go back and kick myself. I want to go back and grab my new mom self by the shoulders and say "This? This is the easy part!"

Yes, the easy part.

Shortly after my oldest was born I wrote this post on my friend AP's blog. Reading back, I remember exactly what I was feeling. And yes, I will say at the time it was hard. But it was me being hard on myself, not my child.

It's okay to not know what you're doing. It's okay to say, "I don't know what's wrong but let's figure this out!" And those books? All the ones you've carefully read and highlighted through? They don't help. They serve as good references but they are most certainly not one size fits all.

Babies cry. And that's okay. You don't need to shut them up right away. You are not doing anything wrong. They are just doing what babies do.

It's okay not to take your friend's, neighbor's, mother's, or even your doctor's advice. Mother's know their child best and sometimes you'll make the right decision. Sometimes you won't, and that is okay.

Your baby is not that baby. That baby you see and compare him to and wonder if you're doing something wrong because your baby is not doing what that baby is. Your baby was created perfectly to be the child that he is. And you? You are not that mom, but you are everything your baby needs.

The hardest part is knowing that even though it's hard, it's okay.

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