There have been countless times where I have been driving and have wanted to climb out of my car and smack some idiot driver. Countless times. That means there are far too many out there. I thought I'd compile a list of rules to share in hopes that idiot drivers everywhere might find this and realize that these rules apply to them.
- Consider putting your gahdamned phone away. Nobody cares that you gotta make a call or that homeboy is texting you. You know who cares even less? This girl. While I'm narrowly avoiding your dumb ass swerving all over the road, my baby girl is strapped to the best car seat that money can buy, yet is still somehow at your mercy. So heavens help you should you even so much as tap my car because when you do, the Mama Bear claws will come out and the best thing that can happen to you in that scenario is that the damn phone will be shoved down your throat.
- YIELD- Contrary to popular belief, this does not mean speed the hell up and mow down the cars coming in the next lane. No. It in fact means that you slow down or stop to let cars that have the right of way pass you. So that "me first!' mentality that you have because you think the road is yours and you don't want anybody driving on it except you? Yeah, unless you're a kindergartner you shouldn't have it anymore.
- While we're on the topic of "lane ownership" here's what; it doesn't exist. So if you think you're super cool so you're not going to let any cars drive in front of you here's another thing; the rest of us know that your offensive driving is really a cover up for your insecurities.
- Your loud music? And your loud truck? They are annoyingly stupid. While what others do with their personal property in not typically my prerogative, it actually is when you pull up next to me and I have endure it. So, how about not being a selfish prick and have a little courtesy to those around you.
- Speeders- you are in a hurry. This is your problem, not my problem. You driving on my ass is not going to make me go faster. Also, you probably don't realize this but you you are only speeding up to get to the stoplight before I do. So go ahead. Hurry up and slow down.
8 comments:
haha this was hilarious and i had this same exact post in my head for months. glad someone finally put it into words.
well said mama!
Oh my god, your post describes the drivers in my town to the T! It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that feels this way!
I was almost hit with both of my kids in the car because some woman decided to pull out in front of me even though she had the red light. She came so close to me, that I could see her cringe before she waved at me! Of course, she was coming from the liquor store.
A pet peeve that I have is people not using their turn signals. It’s like they expect you to read their mind as they abruptly turn onto a street or change lanes as they narrowly miss you.
Love this! Haha these exact thoughts go through my head anytime I am driving!
Oh I just love this! Its perfect and oh so true!! What in the hell is wrong with people?!
Perfect post mama!!! Reminds me vaguely of a fabulous guest post you did for me because let's face it- asshole drivers are all over and they never go away right? Soo happy you are a bloggingfiend!! I need your reads!! :) PS I love the header!!! Pittman must love it too!!
Hahaha
You crack me up.
I suffer from what some might consider extremely severe ROAD RAGE!!!!
I agree with every point you made...
Hahaha, this is soooo funny! I understand your frustration whole heartedly! South African drivers, especially taxis, are a thousand times worse!
Hahahahaha! Omg I love this. I hate stupid drivers. Forever and ever amen.
Newest follower bc I love you already! :)
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